#EmmysRecap! A show chock-full of some pretty forgettable moments with an unsurprising finish

I apologize in advance for the length of this post…

Well… This year’s Emmy Award Ceremony was anything but jaw-dropping madness. Unfortunately, even having one of my favorite hosts ever, Neil Patrick Harris, on-screen for much of the three-hour program could not help inflate this celebration of television from imploding on itself.

Let’s start with the basics:

Harris was great when he was not making fun of the fact that he had hosted so many times… I mean, it was funny at the beginning when he got the past hosts to bicker with him on-stage, but the joke grew tired after it stretched throughout the telecast. In terms of the transitions, they served their purpose but lacked the usually flair that accompanies Harris productions; all of them were lackluster… except for the Best Choreography category. The chances they took by bringing the choreographers onto the main show paid off when those talented people showcased just what they could do. That whole montage of dance interpretation to each best show nominee literally made my jaw drop– it was just so fantastic! The only thing I was not a HUGE fan of was the use of Daft Punk‘s “Get Lucky.” As someone who has heard the song many many times over the past couple of months, I felt that it was the Emmys’ way of trying to get mainstream audiences on-board with an incredible song-and-dance number that would have wowed no matter what.

I will say this: the mid-show number was pretty funny and very much in the same vein as Barney‘s How I Met Your Mother sing-alongs: all tongue-in-cheek and fluff pieces. It was a cute way to show the “dramatic” shift in the show’s atmosphere from comedy to drama. Otherwise, Elton John‘s tribute to Liberace, while it was heartfelt and obviously amazing — I feel like EVERYTHING Elton does is pretty much amazing — it felt a little too drawn out (but still amazing). And Carrie Underwood, what happened? I KNOW you’re an amazing singer; I watched your season of American Idol and actually voted for you! I was very surprised at your rendition: it started off pretty pitchy and then lacked that spark we have grown to see from your contemporaries. You usually bring your A-game, but I didn’t see it this time I’ll just blame it on Shemar Moore calling you sexy as hell inappropriately during his backstage interview.

Now on to the actual winners:

Was I really surprised that Breaking Bad won best drama? Not in the least. The amount of times I’ve been asked if I watch the show in the past five months had been enough proof for me. Every single film professor and scholar (except for Agnes Varda, who is such a boss) I have conversed with has asked me about the show and my take on it… And I disappoint them every time, saying things like, “Oh, it’s on my list of things to watch/finish, just after Pretty Little Liars, Teen Wolf and The Vampire Diaries.” — Yes, I watch those shows. PROUDLY (and side note, those shows should not be automatically disqualified from the Emmys. Not fair!).

I was hoping that Kerry Washington would be able to win her first Emmy for her role in Scandal, not because I actually watch the show (if it were based on that fact, Peggy Olson – Elisabeth Moss — from Mad Men would have been my choice, but she did not have as much screen time this past season as she had had in the past), but rather because she was so enamored with Diahann Carroll and seemed to legitimately look up to her as a role model. Carroll is a boss. Hands down. And her comment about all of the gorgeous men at the award ceremony made me literally laugh out loud. And of course, she is a baller because she was the FIRST African American to ever be nominated for an Emmy in 1969. This woman paved the way for people of all races to be nominated and win these coveted awards. And at 78, she still has it going on. But, alas, Claire Danes won again (for Homeland). She’s like the Beyoncé, Adele or TSwift of television. I mean, this chick has pretty much won every time she was nominated. In other words, tough shit if you’re going against Claire Danes in the Best Actress category!

Best Actor was also a big surprise for me, too. I was expecting Breaking Bad‘s Bryan Cranston to own the competition, especially after all the buzz, but Jeff Daniels? Really? The Newsroom? Realllllly? I don’t understand. The critics tear the show apart week after week! I mean, I knew Jon Hamm was not going to win… He never wins (even though he definitely won best beard for last night’s rendition of facial hair).

Jon Hamm won “MOST EPIC BEARD” last night at the 65th Primetime Emmys.

As for the Supporting Actors/Actresses for Drama categories, Maggie Smith must ALWAYS WIN. NO MATTER WHAT (And I don’t even watch Downton Abbey yet… It’s also on my list of TV shows to watch, just after Game of Thrones). Nobody fucks ever comes close to being as perfect as Prof. McGonagall. And yes, Christina Hendricks, (Joannie from Mad Men), you’ll always hold a special place in my heart! But I was very happy that Will’s boyfriend Vince (from Will & Grace) — Bobby Cannavale — won for his role in Boardwalk Empire.

In terms of the rest of the drama awards, I was really happy with Carrie Preston (who plays Arlene on True Blood) winning for her guest role in The Good Wife. Screenwriting-wise, I really need to start watching (and reading) Homeland! That show has been cleaning up in the drama department a lot now. And lastly (for drama), I was happy that Netflix David Fincher won the Best Director Award for House of Cards. The win shows networks that they will have to step up their game if they plan on staying relevant in this day and age.

NOW ONTO THE COMEDY!

All you really need to know is that Modern Family cleaned up. Again. won top honors, bagging Director and Series. I’m not THAT surprised… The Emmys kids usually love them some Modern Family, and they have reason to do so. But, there are just so many smart comedies on television now! Take 30 Rock (RIP ), which won for screenwriting, or GIRLS, which, while this season was NOT as great as Season 1 (season 1 was da bomb dot com, y’all), Lena Dunham knows how to create intelligent and entertaining TV (Also, please reference Amy Poehler and her Parks & Recreation).

In terms of actress and actor, Julia Louise-Dreyfus. Are you really that surprised? That woman was ELAINE. From Seinfeld. She’s just waaayy too funny. And VEEP really is good! I mean, I love me some Tina Fey and Amy, but they are just SOOOO talented as writers already. And I thought the Buster moment was hilarious (for those not “in the know,” I felt like Tony Hale‘s presence on-stage while Julia accepted her award was very reminiscent of his role in Arrested Development with Jessica Walter). For the guys, I really wanted Alec Baldwin to win, but Jim Parsons is just hilarious as Sheldon Cooper on Big Bang Theory. While the show may not be the smartest comedy on television (it makes fun of smart people, which makes me kind of sad lol), it knows how to market itself to a huge demographic, all the while not totally selling its soul. And Jim is also the cutest nerd ever when he accepts awards.

Supporting-wise, I was supporting EVERYONE but Merritt Wever to win, not because I have anything against her, but rather because I’ve never seen Nurse Jackie, which is surprising, since I LOVED Edie Falco in Sopranos. (side note: I almost cried during James Gandolfini‘s tribute last night )And Buster won for VEEP.

AND THE REST…

As for the Mini-Series/TV Movies, I was rooting for American Horror Story: Asylum and Behind the Candelabra the whole night. AHS is my shit, man! I was really sad that Jessica Lange didn’t win Best Actress, but James Cromwell snatching up the Supporting Actor award from the rest of the guys was pretty awesome.

Of course Michael Douglas won for his role as Liberace — he and Matt Damon‘s on-screen chemistry was so evident in every scene in Candelabra. And YAY for Louisiana natives; Steve Soderbergh of Baton Rouge won Best Director (for Candelabra)!

Lastly, I was happy that The Colbert Report finally got to beat Jon Stewart‘s 9-year streak for Outstanding Variety Series; I thought it was hilarious when he admitted that most of what he does on-screen is an act, and thank god! Because if that was really him on television, I would have so little hope for humanity.

Okay. That’s enough writing now. For a COMPLETE LIST of all winners, click here. Thanks, y’all!

And sorry for all the tags!